Why do we write?

Everyone who has instructed me in writing has given the same advice: Speak from experience and write about what you know.  As I begin to write in this space, it's worth noting that I'm not writing for you to read.  Rather, I'm writing for me to write.  If you're reading this and have comments, or questions, or anyting else to share, feel free to do so in the comments section.  Understand though, I'm not looking for that. So why am I writing this?  That's the topic for today, so let's get to it...

When people create, we do so for any number of reasons.  Perhaps out of a desire to make something useful, or beautiful, or entertaining, etc.  Perhaps just to see if we can make something of worth, or to find our own worth.  Jon Foreman (singer/songerwriter of Switchfoot) is on record saying that he often writes to process what he can't otherwise understand. This article I think is spot on.  In summary, it says we write for 1 of 4 main reasons; to be fully alive, to make a name fore ourselves, to change the world, and to discover meaning.  For me, this journey is about self-rediscovery, and this space in which to write is to help me process the journey I'm on and reflect on the world around me that carries on with or without my consent...So, I think Jon and I fall into that last category.

In 2012 I was blessed to marry a certain lovely lady...
And over the next 3 years we were pleased to welcome a couple of additions to the family...Now, I learned a lot about myself through marriage, and even more through parenting...However, as time went on, I became so wrapped up in trying to keep up with responsibilities as a husband, father, friend, employee, musician, and whatever else, that I lost track of my own need to continue to learn and grow as person.  The result was not good.

I slowly regressed into old bad habits and selfish tendencies.  As those things began to impact my relationships (pretty much all of my close ones) I grew defensive and bitter toward the world.  I felt like I was swimming upstream and giving everything I had to keep my head above water while slowly losing the battle agains the current, watching my intended destination slip further and further away.

Then, this summer, a song came on while I was at work.  A line from the first verse reads, "I thought that everything would turn out alright, now look what I've become: A man I wouldn't respect if I met me when I was young."  I just about dropped the mail in my hands.  The song goes on as the singer seeks to make things right, doing things previously left undone and the like.  The epiphany that these words were echoing my heart was one of those moments in life. I could either change directions and travel into uncharted waters or just keep on the way I was.  I knew I needed to make changes, but didn't have a great idea what, or how.  And truthfully, I'm still not sure I do.

There are somethings that I do know however.  For starters, I have to get back to my roots so I can sort out what to build on.  For years I would process life as it came through writing, both journaling and songwriting.  It's time I got back to that.  It occured to me as I began to consider this process that I'm not alone, in more ways than one.  I have an extremely patient, loving and supportive spouse, who not only puts up with all of my crap, but calls me forward to better things.  On the other side, it's not the first time I've needed to re-evaluate my direction and focus in life.  Perhaps by pulling back the curtain on my own journey (as uncomfortable as transparency can be) I can make a difference to someone else who needs to hear that they're not alone in similar journey.

For the rest, that will wait until next week.  Here's my commitment to myself, and by proxy, anyone who bothers to read this:  Each week I'll write on something new.  Each topic will tie into my own journey, and will pull back to one or more parts of where I'm coming from.  I will not shy away from my own leanings (religious, political, or otherwise) as they are too important to my makeup to leave out.  I will, however, make a point to not beat you over the head with them, because I'm not writing to convince you of a darn thing.  I plan to do this for approximately one year (out to our 5th anniversary next June) and see where I'm at, and what has changed, and what still needs work before I decide whether or not to continue.    Remember, this journey is for me.  So, if it happens to be for you too for a time, whether as a friend, a family member, or someone else looking to make sense of the world, or just to heckle, then welcome.